Over the the-blog-that-dare-not-speak-its-name, Aaron B. has some interesting observations about the (lack of) righteousness of green-wearing missionaries. Straight from the mouth of his mission president, we have it:
Elders who wore dark pants were “dignos de ser representantes de Cristo.” [Translator’s note: This means “worthy to be representatives of Christ”]. Elders who wore green pants were most definitely NOT “dignos de ser representantes de Cristo.” The moral dividing line between the colors was completely black and white (green). . . . We got treated to a fire and brimstone lecture (I exaggerate, but not by much) meant to inculcate the strongest of taboos regarding the color green. You could’ve been forgiven for thinking that Christ himself was offended at the color.
I’m shocked that I heard this rule as late as I did, and I can’t believe my mission president was so callous as not to tell me this crucial law of heaven. Had I heard this earlier, I might have been saved from a wasted youth of wearing green, khaki, and gray as a missionary. I’m sure that members I baptized will all need rebaptism, if they haven’t all become bank robbers or Jehovah’s Witnesses by now. As for me, I’m probably doomed to degeneracy, apostacy, champerty, and a life of wandering around in the wilderness, muttering incoherently to myself. If only I had known sooner . . .