Someone needs to write an etiquette book for members of the Church. Iâ€™m not up to writing it, but Iâ€™m willing to make some of the first contributions.
You may suspect that this is really just a list of some of my pet peeves. You would be right, so feel free to add your own. But try to be sure that they donâ€™t point at particular individuals, wonâ€™t hurt feelings, etc., etc. And, of course, you can disagree with mine. My peeves may be misplaced.
1. If the High Priests are the ones assigned to help you move, make sure thereâ€™s someone else to help as well. Someone has to do the heavy lifting.
2. RE: heaving lifting: If you have a piano to move (or something similar) figure out how to have it moved without having the members of the Church do it. Too many have hurt themselves, as well as pianos, doing so.
3. Pack before the movers are scheduled to arrive regardless of which quorum or group they come from
4. Donâ€™t sit and watch; donâ€™t even try to look busy. Help.
5. Go to church at least a few Sundays before you ask for help moving. Alternatively, let the home and visiting teachers in a couple of times beforehand.
1. Recognize that after not very many seconds of loud noise, your child probably ought to go to the foyer. Children certainly belong in Sacrament meeting, but it isnâ€™t a good place to try to teach them discipline. (Besides, their screaming or other noise gives you an excuse to sit in the more comfortable chairs of the foyer.)
2. If you are in the foyer, donâ€™t forget that there is a meeting going on to which others in the foyer may be trying to pay attention. A long, normal-voiced chat about your favorite sport or team is going to make them unhappy with you.
3. Donâ€™t play peekaboo with the child in front of you unless you are prepared to take responsibility when the child keeps playing after youâ€™re ready to quit. If you are part of the problem, you need also to be part of the solution. (This is, of course, not license to get the child to be noisy so that you can volunteer to take it to the foyer.)
4. Be sure the food you provide your child is easily vacuumed. That means, perhaps above all else, non-sticky. (The most egregious case of this that Iâ€™ve seen occurred some years ago: a mother brought her child a peanut butter sandwichâ€”and she brought herself a hot dog from 7-11, complete with catsup and relish. They sat on the front row of the chapel eating. She topped it off by reading a novel while she ate!)
5. If youâ€™ve brought toys for your children, make sure they donâ€™t dent the furniture or the skulls of others in the congregation.
6. If youâ€™ve brought books for your children, please refrain from reading them out loud.
Fast and Testimony Meeting
1. That silence between testimonies isnâ€™t wasted time; it is quite time for meditation. Of course, if you are moved to bear your testimony, do so. But please donâ€™t feel that you have to bear your testimony so â€œthe time wonâ€™t go to waste.â€?
2. If youâ€™re going to sing your testimony or do something else unusual, at least warn people first.
3. If you feel inclined to preface any remark with â€œI shouldnâ€™t say this, butâ€? or similar warnings, donâ€™t say it.
4. If you bear your testimony every or nearly every Fast and Testimony meeting, consider whether you should. Are you taking time from others who may be slower physically or more shy?
5. When you bear your testimony, remember that is what it is, your witness of divine, true things. That covers a lot of territory, but excludes even more. Stick to what it includes, please.
1. Donâ€™t first volunteer to read a passage for the class and then ask, â€œWhat chapter and verse is that?â€?
2. Snore quietly, if at all.
3. Even if you know the political leanings of the Sunday School teacher, find another place than Sunday School to assault him or her for them.