Your help needed: naming Mormon ice cream

Not too long ago, Ben and Jerry’s opened a new front in the culture wars by temporarily renaming its “Chubby Hubby” flavor as “Hubby Hubby” and highlighting this chilling act on their website. And now they’re at it again. I’m guessing that at some point the Church will respond with its own renamed flavor, which is where your collective wisdom is required. Here is a list of Ben and Jerry’s flavors. The best I could come up with is renaming Triple Caramel Chunk as Triple Temple Dunk. But I’m sure you can do better.

33 comments for “Your help needed: naming Mormon ice cream

  1. Coffee, Coffee, BuzzBuzzBuzz –> Cold Caffeine BuzzBuzzBuzz

    Cherry Garcia –> Toffee Monson

    New York Super Fudge Chunk –> Salt Lake Lime Jello Munch

    [Clearly, I’m not really very good at this]

  2. not hubby hubby, but “wife wife wife”

    “brigham berry”

    “dulce deseret”

    neas sheum chunk is awesome.

  3. Eight-Cow Tracks
    Jack Mormon Fruit
    The Golden Dates
    Chew Nibley (with little toffee hypocephaluses)
    Death by Danite Chocolate
    Postum
    and of course
    Mint Romney (plain vanilla)

  4. No. 6: Plural berriage takes the cake! And the iced cream.

    No. 12: Even for a light-hearted round of word play about fake ice cream names? You’d think a post about making up ice cream names would all but require a made-up email address.

  5. Sweet Spearmints
    Unchaste Chocolate (swirled with pulverized Oreo “dirt”)
    Fasting and Praline Pecan

  6. So far my votes are with Chew Nibley and Mint Romney. Very Clever.

    New bloggernacle flavors (ice cream for intellectuals):
    Academia Macadamia, Feminist Fudge (delicious… try mixing with Joanna Banana)

  7. Please forgive my moderated comment. I got carried away. Although I get irritated by Ben & Jerry’s antics, my intention is to listen and to give positive comments that contribute to an edifying public discourse. My sincere apologies.

  8. Keeping with the theme of the OP, I’d have to suggest that the Church use:

    Don’t Let Them Berry (with a two groom graphic overlaid by the red ‘prohibited’ sign)

    I hope the OP was in good fun and did not seriously use “chilling act” to refer to the profession of a promise of lifelong commitment between two people who, possibly in the face of tremendous social hostility, develop sufficient love and devotion for each other to want to build a life together. This is whether or not you think such a profession should be admitted by civil law.

  9. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS PLAIN VANILLA!!!!!!!

    There. I just had to get that off my chest.

    Of all the appropriate adjectives one might apply to the Delectable Bean, why, why, would anybody think to use such an erroneous one?

  10. Another Testa Mint

    Urim and Yummim

    White and Delights’mores

    Choose the Light (a low-cal variety)

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