Here’s a verse for the poor slaves and servants to that vile master, p0rnography. I’ve spoken to people with p0rn problems, I’m struck by the fact that they don’t like themselves when they’re looking at p0rn. They may want to quit their habit, but find themselves struggling to do so. Against this backdrop, I noticed a verse that seemed appropriate. It’s a prayer, a plea, from the 119th Psalm:
“Turn my eyes away from looking at worthless things. Revive me in your ways.”
To my admittedly inexpert eye, that says it all. P0rnography epitomizes “worthless things.” And if those who are in its thrall can remember to call upon the Lord, He has the power to help them to turn their eyes away from looking at worthless things, and revive them in His ways.
It’s a short verse, and pithy. So here’s an idea of mine. If you look at p0rn online — or if you’ve ever thought about looking at p0rn online, or if you know anyone who might look at p0rn online using your computer, or even if you don’t, but you want to be extra sure — then copy the verse into a word processor, print it up, and tape it to your monitor. Look at it every day, and avoid the snares.
Godspeed.
—
Notes:
1. As listed here, this is the text from the World Bible. The verse in question isn’t quite the same in the KJV. I prefer the strong denunciation of “worthless things” to the weaker “vanity.” According to one site, the “worthless things” version of verse 37 comes from “Masoretic Text, Septuagint, and Vulgate.” Perhaps our translation experts can elucidate on the differences here.
2. Remember that we recently added the word “porn” to our moderation list, because we kept getting hit with spam comments that were ads for porn sites. As a result, any comment with the word “porn” in it will be held for review; to avoid this, use the substitutes p0rn, p*rn, etc.
>>If you look at p0rn online – or if you’ve ever thought about looking at p0rn online, or if you know anyone who might look at p0rn online using your computer, or even if you don’t, but you want to be extra sure – then copy the verse into a word processor, print it up, and tape it to your monitor. Look at it every day, and avoid the snares.
Thank you Kaimi! In the middle of a valuable but kind of tired discussion of pornography, simple exhortation is whats most needed.
Why does it always come up in general conference? Because the people at the top have the whole picture in front of them, while on the local level we deal with anecdotes and partial information, skewed by confidentiality and embarrassment. It’s a plague, every bit as pervasive as 19th century members failure to live the Word of Wisdom, and it will probably require equally detailed questions and policies by the church in the long run to make a dent in it.
I know a sociologist who has crunched some numbers for the church. Regarding pornography, the data is difficult to come by, and maybe incorrect. However, if his estimates were at all accurate, it would seem likely that roughly half of all the males reading these words–TS blogger, regular visitor, occasional visitor, lurker–have viewed pornographic images online. As many as a third of those males have struggled with, or are currently struggling with, a serious addiction to pornography and masturbation. Home teaching companions, elders quorum presidents, mission companions, high priest group leaders, bishops, stake presidents, me and you.
Kaimi, that footnote is for the second half of the verse, which varies between “your path” (from the Masoretic Text (or MT) which is the traditional hebrew text, the Septuagint (or LXX) which is the traditional Greek translation, ) and “your path” (found in a few MT manuscripts and the Hebrew of the Dea Sea Scrolls, (or DSS) and the Vulgate, which is the 4th century AD Latin translation).
In other words, here’s how the versions read for that verse.
2 MT manuscripts, DSS – “Preserve me by your word”
TAR (Aramaic translations) -“Preserve me by your words”
Most MT manuscripts, LXX, VUL – “Preserve me by your path”
“Vanity” and “useless (or worthless) things” are synonyms. From the Oxford English Dictionary: “vanity: [. . .] 2. a. The quality of being vain or worthless; the futility or worthlessness of something.”
Gah. Okay, someone explain to me how this doesn’t apply to videogames, most television, sports, movies….
Sheri Lynn: It does.
It seems to me that for those who are tempted by images—a visual reminder of virtue might be more effective than a wordy message, however beautiful or appropriate. What about taping a small picture of Christ, one’s mother, one’s wife as a bride or one’s babies might to your computer? If the entire perimeter of one’s computer were filled with images of people who trust and love you—people to whom you are bound by sacred covenants—this might have a deterring effect.
And it is quite obvious that the television just has to go.
“if his estimates were at all accurate, it would seem likely that roughly half of all the males reading these words–TS blogger, regular visitor, occasional visitor, lurker–have viewed pornographic images online. As many as a third of those males have struggled with, or are currently struggling with, a serious addiction to pornography”
These numbers seem unbelievable to me. Am I just naive?
Julie –
well, it depends on what one means by “viewed p*rn images online.”
Even with strict filetering, I occasionally (once every couple of months or so) get a p*rn image when doing an image search on Google. I don’t dwell on the image, or even pay it much mind, but I guess it would count as “viewing p*rnographic images online.”
As for the 1/3 being addicted – that seems high to me as well.
Julie,
Those numbers (basically, 50% of all American Mormon males with access to the internet, and then 33% of that subset) may be high, but they are not out of line with other estimates I have heard from priesthood leaders and LDS marriage counsellors who would presumably have no reason to make the problem appear worse than it actually is.
Like Anonymous, I think Kaimi’s advice is a good one, as is Melissa’s. And as for your point about the television, Melissa, I don’t disagree. As anyone who has ever tried to teach or been taught a lesson on resisting temptation well knows, the environment–friends, media, physical surroundings, etc.–one creates for oneself is all important. Without going into too much detail, I’ll acknowledge that the reason we’ve never had more than basic cable at home, and the reason I never lock my office door (except when I leave, of course), is not unrelated to these issues and concerns.
I’m no expert on the numbers, but the ones that I have heard are in line with what Russell and anonymous suggest.
I also don’t know how the definitions work, Ivan. I suspect that they’re not including “incidental” images that pop up in ads, or other things. Heaven knows I get enough of those — Maxim ads pop up on the sidebar at ESPN.com, Victoria’s Secret ads pop up on CNN.com, plus the news carries pictures such as Janet Jackson’s breast or John Kerry’s daughter’s infamous see-through dress. (A full-color picture of Ms. Kerry that left very little to the imagination ran in several papers including the New York Post).
As much as we’re all exposed to incidental images, I think that the statisticians ar etracking something more than that. But I could be wrong.
Nate,
You’re right, of course. The big question is whether blogging is another “worthless thing”
Jim,
I know that the definitions are similar. But to me, the phrase “looking at worthless things” really brings out the harm or problem in a way that “vanity” doesn’t. The wrong in consumption of pornography is literally, looking at worthless things.
Ben,
Ooops. Thanks for the clarification.
Oh, and Melissa — good suggestion.
“Gah. Okay, someone explain to me how this doesn’t apply to videogames, most television, sports, movies….”
I’m wondering where your ellipsis are leading: “most magazines, music, books, performing arts, gourmet restaurants, desserts.” When you stop to think about what is most important in life, it’s pretty easy to come to the conclusion that many of us waste too much time on trivialities. But lumping things in with p-y seems to miss the point of why p-y is so bad. For me at least, the activities you mentioned have played significant positive roles during parts of my life. I can’t say the same about p-y. There’s a difference between abusing something potentially good or neutral and taking part in something unwholesome by its very nature.
I think that an unhealthy addiction to p*rn is a bad thing. But I also believe that an unhealthy addiction to worrying about and riling against p*rnography is unproductive. There are lots of people addicted to p*rn, I’m sure. I think, like most sins, the key is to be there for them if and when they choose to seek help.
I went through a semester addicted to gambling, and probably the least helpful thing for me was all my friends telling me what a bad thing it was. People with addictive personalities, I believe, need to make self-realizations on their own. I am speaking only of personal experience and that of a few close friends, and bold denouncements may help some, but I truly wonder if all the anti-p*rn comments here are more symptomatic of something deeper.
An excellent post, Kaimi. Lyrical, spiritual, practical, firmly rooted in a strong moral view. Your poaching on my territory and doing it much better than me. Thank you very much.
APJ,
Railing against pornography helps people never get addicted in the first place. The prophets keep railing about it, and consequently I’ve set clear boundaries, like those Russell Fox mentions, that help me avoid the scourge. I and Russell Fox aren’t the only ones. A spiritual sitzkrieg isn’t always the best tactic.
You’re very welcome, Adam, and thank you for the kind words. I know that you put a lot of care into your posts, so it’s a compliment to be accused of poaching. And I promise I won’t completely horn in on you — space posts remain all yours. (Unless that devious Frank, or perhaps Rosalynde, tries to poach on that topic).
Kaimi: I’m sorry, but I wholly disagree with your approach. I blogged on this a few weeks ago, due to a reaction against a certain Ensign article on pornography. The advice of ‘keep something virtuous in sight’ or ‘replace the “bad” thing with something “good”‘ rarely work, especially for the addict; it merely caters to the addict’s desire to escape. Perhaps one could say, better to escape with the scriptures than with porn (if such is even possible; I personally think it perverts scripture to use it in that way); even then it is a temporary fix and avoids the real issue.
I am so tired of this addicted to porn, addicted to masturbation, addicted to sex, etc, evil this, evil that nonsense. If we don’t reproduce, it’s as if we never lived. The physical reality of life is that life is a struggle to pass on our genetic information and not let it die with us. Since sex is for reporduction, it’s just common sense that sex should be at the top of any one’s subconscience “things to do list” along side work, eating, sleeping, etc. In short, sex is equally critical to our existence as all those things. It’s no wonder people getting regular sex are calm and content; they are doing their most important work and have a sense of purpose and accomplishment about it. I sure had a easier time at BYU when I threw in the towel and became sexually active. And the women I dated needed the casual sex just as badly as I did. It’s ironic I got more at BYU than at my Univ of Michigan grad program before meeting my wife. Sex is great — embrace it!
err….. that’s a different Steve, promise.
Steve (not Evans),
“That’s the most charming and endearing excuse for infidelity that I have ever heard.”
–Mamita–
What infidelity? I have never strayed from my loving wife. She is the most important person in my life. All I’m saying is I was too weak to wait until marriage, and I was happier once gave in to my natural reproductive desires. To say porn, masturbation (which isn’t even close to the fulfillment of a real (shared) sexual experience), sex, etc are addictions is to say that eating, sleeping, defecating, etc are addictions too. It’s a misuse of the word addiction. Call it a weakness, like eating too much is a weakness, not waiting for marriage is a weakness, etc. That’s a better word for the problem.
18…must be sarcasm. Or a troll.
Not that I don’t agree with the last line…but as with real estate, it’s location, location, location–and a clear title.
doppelganger Steve, are you suggesting fornication as a way to happiness? That’s definitely not in my Gospel Principles manual.
As far as balancing spiritual, mental, physical happiness, I might have been better born in ancient times and placed in an arranged marriage before puberty. Then sex with my wife would happen when we both first had the urge and masturbation and fornication wouldn’t have even entered our thoughts (although adultery might have been an issue later if the marriage went bad.). But those days are long gone, and for weak people like me, yes, fornication was a happier road until meeting my wife.
Steve… University of Michigan, eh? Have we met? I just left a month ago, after spending nearly 5 years there in various grad programs…
That’s an interesting outlook.
Jordon: You are far too generous to Steve’s defense of fornication. What is interesting in this day and age about someone advocating sexual activity prior to marriage?
I meant- “interesting” for a BYU alum. Presumably one still in the church.
And it is more interesting at the moment than reviewing Texas wills and estates, although wills and estates WAS interesting until now, when it is nearly midnight and I want to get to bed. :)
“it is more interesting at the moment than reviewing Texas wills and estates”
Damning with faint praise to be sure…
Jordan,
I was before your time, having left UofM in the mid-late 80’s. Thank for appreciating another point of view. I served an honorable mission, and honored my temple covenants until age 22, when I said what the hell and gave an freshman female BYU student I was dating what she had begged for several times. Rather than the wrath of the almighty, we both felt incredible liberation and bliss. My studies became much easier as if my IQ increased. From then on I remained sexually active with almost every gal I dated, including my wife, who I met at Michigan. I rarely felt guity about it, it just seemed like a normal part of developing a relationship with a woman. When you were ready, you took that step. I’ll say this, Mormon women are generally great in bed, so that whole sexual repression business outsiders talk about is total nonsense. In any event, my wife and I are now married in the Temple and very active. I appreciate people who can wait until marriage, I just wasn’t one of them.
Never mind. I didn’t have to read that tonight. Sorry, everyone, for having somehow instigated that response.
Kaimi- I really liked that verse. Thanks for illuminating it.
Well, one certainly can’t say we don’t get all kinds around here.
It is probably pointless to engage this argument (if that’s what it is), but let me toss out this, to Steve and whomever. The “weakness” you talk about–the inability to resist the longing for sexual activity until marriage–is associated with a valid point for Mormons to consider, one that several of us have written about before (as I did in my “sexual healing” post). The sexual drive is not some neutral–much less nasty!–impulse or quirk, and responding to it isn’t just a matter of release or fulfillment. On the contrary, the activity itself is an element of human wholeness and flourishing. But there are other sources of flourishing as well, and one of them is discipline: committing oneself wholly to a practice because of one’s faith in its outcome. The teachings of the prophets is, no sexual activity before marriage. Conforming to that teaching is an important source of strength and virtue–and moreover, given that the sort of decisions made by an inspired prophet (something you may or may not agree is the case, but that’s a different argument) are, I think, quite obviously likely to be superior in wisdom to those made by horny twentysomethings, I strongly suspect that the fulfillment you (and, yes, perhaps your partners) felt in responding to your bodies was nonetheless probably not quite of the same level, to say the least, of the fulfillment you might have discovered otherwise.
Melissa and I are very close friends with a non-member couple who were sexually active for years before they married, and who fully assume their children will be sexually active before marriage, just like they were. They are kind, hard-working, loving people, devoted to each other and their kids, and it would be ridiculous to claim that they’ve been somehow profoundly warped or diseased by their choices. They lead very fulfilled lives. But there is a kind of fulfillment which they did not know, which their children likely will not know, one which in no way undermines sexual wholeness but rather complements it.
When the day of judgment comes, Steve, and we’re all humble enough to confess to everything, I admit it’s likely that those who of us who tried to discipline ourselves may acknowledge that our choices involved more grayness and trade-offs than we perhaps allow when it comes to teaching our children. But then, I also bet that you’ll have to acknowledge a whole lot more pain, danger, and confusion in your life than your tale of enlightened sexual progress currently implies.
Thanks, Russell Fox. Mankind has no memory. It was only three decades ago that the sexual revolution happened and, no, it didn’t usher in the Age of Aquarius.
Kaimi W.,
Poach all you want, as long as you do it well. I don’t much care who says these things so long as they’re said.
Another thought:
pro-fornication Steve (not Steve Evans) doesn’t explain why he’s pro-pornography. He’s really engaged in a threadjack, because it seems to me that viewing pornography is not just a natural desire like eating or sex, but a perversion of one.
Right, Adam; I’d meant to say something about the disconnect between Steve’s claims and the actual topic of this thread, but neglected to do so. Completely aside from discussions of sexual behavior in general, I think Steve or anyone would be hard-pressed to attribute any sort of growth or self-flourishing to fantasizing in front of dirty pictures.
Trolls come and go. Steve’s laughable comments having me chuckling ten minutes later. The best one is that he had an easier time at BYU after he threw in the towel. Man, if only I had followed his lead I would’ve been a 4.0 student. Even after marrying during my junior year I still just managed a 3.5. Ahhh what could’ve been.
Anecdotal evidence that sexual activity increases the average man’s IQ is hardly something that needs to be taken seriously by readers. How about those Mormon women in bed, Steve? Was that a simple random sample by you? What a joke. It will be a sad day when T&S has to institute an “ignore” feature.
Sorry for feeding the troll, but it seems that some took the poster a bit too seriously.
For the record I never said sexual activity increased my IQ. I said “My studies became much easier as if my IQ increased.” In my opinion, it was the stress relieving effect of regular sex that made my studies easier, but who knows?
And yes, in my ramdom sample, Mormon women are, in general, very good at it. I had less intimacy at Michigan, but gf to gf, the Mormons win hands down. My wife was the only member I dated at Michigan, and we married before I left. Guess why?
That’s why James Bond is so smart, Matt S. The womanizing.
“My wife was the only member I dated at Michigan, and we married before I left. Guess why?”
We can all guess why. You could have avoided that problem if you had married before you came…
Back to topic and my first post, I am tired of this addicted to porn, addicted to masturbation, addicted to sex, stuff. It’s a misuse of the word addiction. The person who looks at porn and masturbates is substituting fantasy for real sex (and is clueless what he/she are missing by not focusing that energy on finding and developing a relationship with a real person). To clarify, I do think masturbation w/o porn is normal adolescent behavior that facilitates a transition to real and fulfilling sexual relationships later in adulthood. Back to my point, a person using porn is using it as a substitute for real sex, which is not an addiction, so the porn isn’t an addiction. If it were an addiction, than we’re all also addicted to everything else we need to live, which is an absurd use of the word. And yes, if we’re not having sex, it’s as if we are dead, because part of our life force is a drive to be actively passing on our genetic information so that it does not die with us. Our subconscious doesn’t know if we’re using a condom or if the women is on the pill; regular sexual activity is enough to placate the drive and relax us with a sense of accomplishment that one of the most important things we’re supposed to do is getting done. In short, using porn is a weakness, not an addiction.
Steve, forgive me if I make you an offender for a word, but I don’t care how you label it, it’s destructive. You can stroke yourself (sorry, bad pun) all day long with your “weakness” if that makes you feel better about yourself. But in the end you’re gonna have to grow up and learn to control your urges. Man shall not live by sex alone…
Let the life force flow through you, Jack.
I agree porn is destructive, but a good part of what feeds the porn industry is that’s how many get very useful sexual information to please their partners that, unfortunately, never came out of more righteous channels/discussions before the porn industry blossomed and then later exploded w/ the Internet. Relatively few women these days are orgasmically challenged compared to past generations thanks to very helpful information for men and women that primarily came from the porn industry. Now we’re stuck with porn until the second coming because righteous people didn’t fill that market niche first.
Steve, comment #44 is pretty hilarious–that is if you really are a troll. Though, I don’t like your flippant comments about LDS women–that’s a little too trollish for me. Of course, if you were serious, then your father was a troll and his father was a troll and so on ad infinitum…
Jack — If by a Troll you mean:
Someone who believes that church standards are good goals to strive for in our spiritual progression, but not absolutes while we’re on the journey to reach them.
Someone who won’t be chased, pressured, made uncomfortable or otherwise ostracized out (as so many have been) from this wonderful church due to personal weaknesses. Look around your wards, how many people do you see that are active while struggling with even small “sins” like a word of wisdom problem? Far too few! (In truth, I don’t believe the WofW is a commandment, although I have a testimony of it, but that’s besides the point) The point is how tragic it is that the church hasn’t yet become the open door hospital for sinners that its supposed to be.
An iconoclast who is candid about his shortcomings but has had enough profound spiritual experiences to trust that Jesus will be there for him at the judgment.
Someone who has become and remains the Publican begging the Lord to have mercy on him, a sinner.
Someone who doesn’t let his sins define him and has faith that perfection will come in due time through Jesus.
If I am that person, than I am a Troll. No I am a ____ing Troll.
Praise Jesus!
Jack –On my flippant remarks regarding LDS women, yes that they were indeed flippant. But I do have another piece of anecdotal evidence to back up the observations from my twenty-something years. Many years ago at a national company meeting, I was introduce to another Manager from Southern Cal. (I’m on the East Coast). Upon learning I was Mormon (but a cool one not offended by coarseness) he said, “I gotta tell you, Mormon women are incredible in bed. I have dated seven of them, utter animals, all of them!” I wryly smiled knowing exactly what he was talking about. Then he added, “I would have married any of them in a heartbeat, but they all had the same condition. I had to join the church to marry them and there no way I was going to give ten percent of my income to anyone!” I said, “I really question your judgment, that sounds very inexpensive to me”. To this day, he repeats that story every time we meet and has a belly laugh over it.
Someone (usually anonymous) who is purposefully contrary on the bloglines in order to ruffle a few feathers for their own amusement.
In a larger context: someone who doesn’t give a damn about the effects of their sins (weaknesses) on those around them.
Someone who is more like an Herodian than a Publican–smiting their hedonist breast with gratitude that sufficient grace is proffered to allow one to live out his days in open rebellion.
I think I know who this is. Boy do I feel sheepish. You ba a a a a a a d boy!
I’m surfing the web
Late at night for blogs not p0rn
Pious obsession…